Jealousy

jealousy is when you react negatively towards the possibility of losing what you have to someone else. Unlike envy, it usually involves three people, rather than just two: you, the person who has what you want, and the person who threatens to take it away.

It's an unhealthy habit that can make any kind of relationship crumble; if you're a jealous person, you have seen how much damage it can do. But at the core of jealousy are some fears and expectations that are hard to shake, unless you make a conscious effort to cast them away.

Life Commitment

Life Commitment
What are you committed to in your life? Are you committed to following through with your word, giving your best to your work, meeting your families and friends needs, dedicating yourself to worthy causes? What about with yourself, do you have any commitments just for you? So often, many of us put everything and everyone else first and then have very little time or energy left over to give to ourselves. As we know, this leads to frustration, resentment and burnout. Our commitments are then born out of duty and obligation rather than stemming from our hearts and desires.

When we make a commitment to honor ourselves first or at least equally, we feel full and grateful and then have the energy to give to others freely out of choice. Honoring our values and needs supports us in setting healthy boundaries and making appropriate decisions. What would your life would be like if you made a commitment to fully honor yourself on a regular basis? Are you willing to find out?
Insights

What have you been committed to in the past year? What commitments take up the most time and energy? Are they mostly for others, or for you, or both?

What commitments have you made in the past year that are mainly for you or honour you as much as the other (i.e. a creative hobby, learning something your really interested, pampering yourself regularly, spending time with people you enjoy, doing work that ignites your passion etc.).

What motivates you to make commitments (i.e. passion, desire, obligation, duty, survival, pressure etc.)? How are you at fulfilling your commitments? Are there any patterns regarding commitments you break versus commitments you follow through on (for example, do you break commitments to yourself more often than to others or vice verse)?

Inspiration

Make a list of all the things you would like to commit to for this next year (not have to, but want to). Start with things that are mainly for you and then add on commitments regarding other people and situations. Set your intention to implement these throughout the year.

Make a list of all the commitments you would like to let go of this year and brainstorm ideas on how to do this (let yourself come up with zany and bizarre ideas to get your creativity and possibilities flowing) and then follow-through with these one at a time.

Spend 10 - 15 minutes every day imagining what your life will be like as you honor yourself by making commitments that nourish and support you while letting go of ones that don't. If any guilt or fearful feelings come up, release those as well and replace them with the feelings of enthusiasm and joy.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

Courage

Courage is not something that comes from flying to your heart in moments of need or in emergencies. Courage is not something that can be handed over to you through lessons either.

Courage is a way of life. It is as much a habit as anything else. Like getting up and brushing your teeth in the morning, or drinking coffee.

It’s a matter of routine more than anything else. People tend to speak of courage only in terms of deeds. For instance, they might speak of courage in the battlefield. Soldiers and policemen are supposed to show courage. Or they might refer to courage in the face of devastation. Flood-affected people or earthquake victims must show courage.

However, courage is not merely the name you can give to your putting up with a bad situation. After all, in a bad situation, there is not much one can do expect cope with whatever strength and forbearance you can muster.

But though we don’t notice it, a lot of courage is part of our routines. The man who gets into a blocked sewer shows courage. The man who tills the land, not knowing whether he will have a good monsoon shows courage. The woman who resists the temptation to lavish goodies on her children shows courage. The child who breaks a leg on the football field but goes back to the game later shows courage. The student who is bent on following his dreams shows courage.

The real test of courage is in our daily lives. Or should be.

The courage to speak the truth. All the time. Because lies are the biggest and most obvious sort of cowardice that all of us hide behind.

The courage to speak our mind and not stay silent, simply because we are afraid that other people might not agree with us. Of course, there will be conflicting views. And of course, conflict is unpleasant. But not speaking your mind can lead to much worse unpleasantness.

The courage to stand up for what we believe in. The courage to follow public rules and laws and insist that other people follow them too. The courage to resist those who take easy ways out, which only leads to more corruption and red tape in our social systems.

Mark Twain has said, Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

The sign of a courageous person, then, is someone who is feels, fear, recognizes fear and still goes on to do what he or she believes is right.

LOVE

Love is Sharing

Believe me when I say that this is one of the most important ingredients of love. It is important to open ones heart and share – pain, joy, success and failure, it really does not matter, as long as the heart is clear. Love is being honest and knowing that the other person feels the same way too, it is sharing and losing ones inhibitions and knowing that the person on the other side will never be judgmental.

Love is Talking

Yes, love is talking. It is about speaking, telling and sharing. After some time people restrict their conversations to discussing bills, children and pets. This is a sure indicator of things going down hill. Bring the spark back by starting a conversation.

Love is Spending Time Together

A few minutes spent together everyday keeps the boredom away. I just made this up right now, but it is because I feel there is nothing like time invested in a relationship…believe me, it pays! Heavy work schedules take up much time and effort, so it is important to get things into perspective.

Love is Faithfulness

To love means to be true, to love unconditionally means to give with all your heart to one, and only one. Love is when you realize that he/she is the best thing that has happened to you and you want to cherish that person and the moments spent with him/her till death do you part.

Love is Being Friends

Love is being friends with each other. Enjoying simple pleasures in life like shopping, catching a movie or watching television at home, apart from a host of other things that "Friends" normally do!


Love is Looking Together in the Same Direction

This may sound clichéd, but it is true…love is having the same goals and taking steps in that direction to make them come true.

I would like to end with one of my favorite quotations…

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly
and without law, and must be plucked where it is found,
and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.

Forgiving Someone You Love

When it comes to close relationships, there will be times when people get hurt. No matter how much you care for one another or how hard you try to keep it from happening, sometimes your partner will hurt you. The real problem often lies in forgiving the person.

Sometimes we say we forgive and in our hearts we may really want to but true forgiveness is not as easy as said. Forgiving someone close to you such as someone you love is even harder because it comes with a betrayal and the fear that it will happen again.

When you truly forgive someone, you need to let the incident go. No matter how small or how big it was, you have to learn to deal with your feelings over it and then let it go. It will only hurt the relationship more if you continue to bring it up time and time again.

One of the biggest parts to learn is how to find trust again. When someone you love has hurt you or betrayed you, it's easy to feel like they are going to do it again at any moment. You say you forgive but you still walk around on guard, just waiting to catch them doing something wrong.

What Is Wisdom

What Is Wisdom

Wisdom is the ability of an understanding to recognize good and evil, it is not knowledge. Knowledge is the recognition of cause and effect, which is independent of good or evil. Realizing that a man will die if he has his head removed is knowledge, deciding if a particular decapitation is an accident, a crime or the upholding of justice, is wisdom

The Crucial Difference between Wisdom and Knowledge

It is experience which dictates our understanding of cause and effect—knowledge; which makes it the concern of investigation and discovery: the realm of science. But it is morality, the fixed foundation of understanding, which dictates our understanding of meaning—right and wrong: the realm of religion. This is why the recognition of sin is constant and the claims of Revelations endure, while scientific theories vary in the light of new discoveries. Although scientific advancements may obscure the truth and require refinement in religion teachings, such changes are only to the interpretation of, not changes to, the axioms of morality

Limitations Of Wisdom
The greater the experience, the more extensive the lessons and the better the decisions must become. Hence the older an understanding the larger the experience to draw upon and the wiser the decisions that will result, subject to some crucial limitations

Not Absolute Different understandings—different founding values — form different, and often incompatible, beliefs (wisdom). What is wise to one community may be foolish to another. So while knowledge is universal, wisdom is specific to a community.

Subject To Senility The chance of dementia, which is loss of the ability to think clearly, increases with age. When an understanding becomes senile its decisions are corrupted by dementia making them valueless, and communities as well as individuals are afflicted by this disease.

Constantly Needs Refining The world constantly changes so that previous decisions must be regularly modified in the light of new experience. The communal response is traditionally via the law, which in our community is through common law. Particular instances are put to the courts for them to rule, and so continually refine the existing communal wisdom.

Needs a Sane Understanding Wisdom can only be accumulated if the understanding is sane, for an understanding can be sane or insane.

Two Kinds Of Understanding
Essentially there are two kinds of human understanding depending upon the initial basis of the understanding. An individual can either be selfish or unselfish as taught by the early experiences of infancy. For this will determine if they can master their instincts to gain a clear understanding—be sane; or permanently be the servant of their emotions and be restrained only by convenience—be insane. Hence

Two Kinds Of Understanding
Unselfish (Sane	Selfish (Insane)
Others are more important than self `	Nothing is more important than self
Self-Restraint Inspired by the needs of others for their dignity, peace, property, and lives	Self-Restraint Enforced only by convenience—the reaction of others
Truth Essential for self-restraint to recognize when it is needed. This imposes a constraint on the impact of fear and fancy upon observation, and enforces a sober view of events.	Truth Irrelevant convenience dictates all restraints, and without this private sense of restraint observations become readily distorted by the influence of fear and fancy
Clear Right And Wrong While the individual may fail to always do right, the result will be private feelings of guilt and shame; a knowledge of doing wrong	No Right And Wrong just good and bad results for self. Shame and guilt only exist in the pleas of individuals discovered in crime.
Competent Armed with truth, inspired by duty, and powered by resolve realizes pursuit of achievements regardless of private sacrifice.	Incompetent Indifference to truth, irresolute and uninspired, prevents any worthwhile achievement except in boasts or excuses

Always Believe in Yourself

Get to know yourself -
what you can do
and what you cannot do -
for only you can make your
life happy

Believe that by working
learning and achieving
you can reach your goals
and be successful

Believe in your own creativity
as a means of expressing
your true feelings

Believe in appreciating life
Be sure to have fun every day
and to enjoy
the beauty in the world

Believe in love
Love your friends
your family
yourself
and your life

Believe in your dreams
and your dreams can become
a reality

meaning of love

Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love? Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have a simple but deep grasp of that four-letter word.

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
"When someone loves you, the way she says your name is different. You know that your name is safe in her mouth."
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs."
"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss but they look happy and sometimes they dance in the kitchen while kissing."
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."
"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only does she still love you, she loves you even more."
"There are 2 kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they've know each other so well."
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
"Love is-if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the cafeteria. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay."
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
"Don't feel so bad if you don't have a boyfriend. There's lots of stuff you can do without one."
"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
"If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself. Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes better. I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you and you should just find a nicer boy."
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day"
"When you're born and see your mommy for the first time.
"Love is what makes people hide in the dark corners of movie theaters."
"Love goes on even when you stop breathing and you pick up where you left off when you reach heaven."
"My enemies taught me how to love."
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
"You have to fall in love before you get married. Then when you're married, you just sit around and read books together."
"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."
"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
"You never have to be lonely. There's always somebody to love, even if it's just a squirrel or a kitten."
"You can break love, but it won't die.

朋友

朋友是获得和不会判断花它的颜色的人。

不会对您不抱希望的人。

将安慰您的人，当泪花风暴在您的头脑里。

将获得与您的一些乐趣并且给您好笑的人。

不介意表现出他们愉快或哀伤的感觉对您的人。

Trust

Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness.

Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature.

We feel trust. Emotions associated with trust include companionship, friendship, love, agreement, relaxation, comfort.

There are a number of different ways we can define trust. Here are the dimensions of trust and consequent definitions.

Tolerance Is Resistance to Love

One of the traps that’s easy to fall into is filling your life with too many incompatibilities — people, places, objects, circumstances, and activities that just don’t mesh with the person you are on the inside.

When your external reality is out of sync with your inner self, your inner self will resist it. This creates the feeling of wanting to escape your circumstances. You may feel powerless to make big changes, but deep down you’ll still sense a strong desire to “get out” and leave parts of your reality behind. You’ll fantasize about quitting your job, moving out, or ending a relationship.

It’s easy to lose years of your life while surrounded by incompatible energies. This problem is so common that some people just consider it normal. They figure it’s normal to dread going to work or to feel disconnected from the people around them. This may be common, but it certainly isn’t a healthy situation.

When you look at the different parts of your life — your career, health, relationships, spiritual practice, daily habits, and finances — and ask, “Is this really me?” do you hear some no’s? How long have you been tolerating these incompatibilities? Why don’t you simply kick them out of your life, so you can replace them with something more compatible?

Some people think it’s a good thing to tolerate the parts of life they don’t like. That’s dumb. Tolerance isn’t acceptance. Tolerance is resistance. To be more specific, tolerance is resistance to love.

When you fill your life with energies you must tolerate, you prevent yourself from attracting what you really want. The more incompatibilities you tolerate in your life, the fewer compatibilities you’ll be able to attract and enjoy. Keep this up for a few years, and you’ll be drowning in a life that feels totally wrong for you.

What bothers you about your life? What are you tolerating right now? I’d like to challenge you to stop tolerating your life. Either fully accept it, and love it as it is. Or kick out the incompatible parts to create the space for a life you’re able to love and accept completely.
Out with the old, in with the new

When you boot the incompatibilities from your life, you raise your energy and your consciousness because you’re no longer stuck in a state of resistance. Now you feel relief and freedom. This opens the door to attracting and experiencing what you truly want.

Many people, upon quitting an unfulfilling job or leaving a draining relationship, feel a sense of relief. There may be some anxiety and uncertainty about what to do next, but the feeling of relief is very strong. “Wow, I can breathe again! I’m glad that’s finally over! Time to move on to a new chapter of my life!” Relief feels like a heavy weight has been set down.

Some people think they can attract what they want while continuing to tolerate the negative elements from their lives. This is a mistake. Again, tolerance is resistance, and resistance keeps you stuck. When you resist what is, you can’t create and attract what you want. That resistance you feel acts like a delete key on all your best intentions.
Stop saying yes

The first step in resolving incompatibilities is to stop saying yes to them. Just stop. Accept that you don’t want what you’ve been getting, and realize that it makes no sense to keep saying yes to what you don’t want.

If someone asks you to do something that doesn’t feel right to you, say no. That may feel very uncomfortable at first, but there will also be a twinge of relief each time you do it.

When you get that twinge of relief, it means you’re on the right path. If you decline something you really should have accepted, you’ll feel more guilt and disappointment than relief.

If you know you’re in the wrong business, for example, then stop saying yes to new clients. Stop marketing and promoting the business. Stop pouring your energy into something you know you don’t want. I know — some people will be upset by this. So what? Let them be upset, and do it anyway.

This is the approach I used when I realized I wanted to retire from computer game development. I no longer felt compatible with that work, and I was merely tolerating it. But I didn’t feel I could just up and quit. So my first step was to stop saying yes to it.

I stopped developing new games. I stopped licensing games from other developers. I stopped actively marketing and promoting my existing products. When new “opportunities” to grow the business came my way, I just said no.

Obviously this caused my income to decline, but it also raised my energy. It allowed me to start accepting that it was time to change careers.

When you know you’re on the wrong path, stop. Just stop. Don’t take any more steps along that path. Just stand still for a while, even if it means your life starts to fall apart a little. You’ll survive.

Watching my income drop was actually a very healing experience for me. It gave me a sense that change was inevitable. I was letting go of the old, and this gave me the time and energy to explore what I wanted to do next. Creating that space is a heck of a lot more important than financial security.
Commit to quitting

After you’ve stopped saying yes, your energy will rise to the point where you’re ready to commit to quitting. You may not be ready to say, “I quit,” right this minute, but you know you’ll get there soon. You know it’s inevitable.

You may give yourself a specific deadline to quit, but that isn’t always necessary. The most important element is that you’ve reached the point where quitting is a done deal. Whatever incompatibilities you’re facing must go. Their days are numbered.

Once you’ve stopped saying yes, the death of the old becomes a certainty. It’s only a matter of time before it dies on its own. Once you’ve stopped putting fresh energy into a career, relationship, or activity, it’s on its way out. The only question is how long you’ll remain in this limbo state before you’re able to fully leave.

Quitting is an essential part of transitioning. If trying to “transition” has been keeping you stuck, then focus your energy on quitting instead. Make a commitment to quit the old, even before you’ve figured out what the new will be.
 

 I liked earning income from ad clicks. It seemed like a great business model. But today I just tolerate the ads (which means I resist them). Many of the Adsense ads served up aren’t a good fit for the message I want to convey. So I finally realized they had to go.

Earlier this summer I went through the phase where I stopped saying yes. I turned down several advertisers that wanted to buy new text link ads. When one of my existing advertisers wanted to renew, I told him that I was sorry but I couldn’t continue to sell advertising to him. This decision has already cost me thousands of dollars in “easy money” that I could have earned for a few minutes work. But each time I say no, I feel a greater sense of lightness and relief.

When incompatible ways of earning income exit my life, I gain the energy and freedom I need to begin attracting other ways of generating income that are more compatible with me.

While I’ve posted my commitment to an ad-free site publicly now, that doesn’t make me feel any more committed because I was already committed on the inside. I can clearly see that I need to switch to an ad-free site. I’m not worried about figuring out the right sources for income generation between now and then. I’m just enjoying being in that place of holding the vision of what I want and letting go of what I know I don’t want. When the time is right, I’ll be ready to transition completely. But for now I like the sense of inevitability that it’s going to happen… and that  we  have an ad-free site 

I know I have to say “I quit” to what I don’t want before I can summon the energy and consciousness necessary to attract what I do want. If something isn’t right for me, it doesn’t matter whether or not I can see a more compatible match standing in the wings. I have to say “I quit” first. I probably won’t be able to see the new, more compatible match until I’m ready to release the old one.

If you work at a job you don’t like, but you don’t feel ready to quit right now, then say to your boss, “I have to tell you that I’m going to be leaving in 6 months. I just want to give you as much notice as possible, so we can have a smooth transition.” At least this way, you’ve gotten things rolling. This also makes it easier to stop saying yes to anything that would keep you stuck. Of course there’s a good chance your employer will help speed things along, so it may not take anywhere near 6 months to transition out. If you find yourself out the door in less than a month, that says something about how essential your job was, doesn’t it?
Quit

Eventually we must say a firm “I quit” to incompatibilities we’ve been tolerating. It can take a while to build up to this stage, but if we’ve worked through the first two stages, this stage is inevitable. In fact, this step is often a non-event.

It may still take some courage to get yourself to finally say, “I quit” to what you know you don’t want, but by this point it has become a necessity. The desire to quit has probably been building for quite a while. When you finally cross the line, there’s a great feeling of relief and a sense of new possibilities.

Don’t let fear stop you from extricating yourself from what you don’t want. If you know you don’t want it, you’re going to have to quit. The longer you remain stuck, the worse it is for you. Your inner self will keep nagging at you. You’ll be stuck dealing with a lot of negative emotions until you summon the courage to kick the incompatibilities out of your life.

Don’t get so attached to your status and your stuff that you can’t quit what you’ve been tolerating for too long. Your job title, money, and possessions won’t give you much comfort. Better to lose all of that than suffer through a phony life that just isn’t you. If you can’t make money authentically and without lowering your consciousness, it’s better to be broke for a while.

If you ever get tempted to lower your consciousness (by tolerating parts of your life instead of loving them) in exchange for more money, security, or comfort, realize you’re about to step foot through the gates of hell. It’s a trap that can see you wallowing in negativity for years to come.
 

Love

When you quit something you’ve been tolerating, whether it be a job, a relationship, a bad habit, or an unhealthy diet, you raise your energy and your consciousness. This enables you to imagine, intend, attract, and receive what you really do want.

You won’t be able to attract what you want while you’re still tolerating what you don’t want. You have to say “I quit” first. This is life’s test of courage. If you can’t summon the courage to quit what you know you don’t want, you certainly won’t have the strength to receive and hold onto what you do want. So you have to pass through this qualification test first. I know it sucks to have to go through it, but it’s there for a good reason.

You’re being asked, “Are you willing to step up? Are you willing to demand more from life? Can you prove you won’t settle for less than what you want?”

If you get scared, run back to the familiar, and settle for tolerance, you lose this challenge. You’re saying to life, “Sorry, I’m not ready for anything more than what I have right now. I’m too scared. Let me stay here for a while longer, wallowing in what I don’t want. I need to build more strength before I’m ready to ask for what I do want. Please keep making my life harder until I’m finally able to let go of this.”

Fortunately there’s no limit to how often you can take this test. When you ask for what you want, you can expect some resistance to come up. You may have a financial setback or a health problem that makes you want to run back to what you know, even if it isn’t what you want. If you do that, however, you’re proving you aren’t ready to receive what you want. You can’t hold onto what you want if you’re going to run back to what you don’t want every time life throws a little obstacle your way.

The real test is whether you will choose to resonate with courage or fear. If you choose fear, you aren’t ready to have what you want. If you choose courage, you demonstrate your readiness. Courage is the ability to choose love rather than fear, regardless of circumstances. When you’re able to choose love no matter what, then you’re finally ready to receive what you’re asking for.

Another word for tolerance is cowardice. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s fairly accurate. If you’re experiencing what you don’t want, it’s because you’re allowing it. You remain free to choose something else. The question is whether you’ll step up and claim it… or chicken out and tell yourself it’s too big or that you aren’t ready or that you can’t possibly make it happen. That’s cowardice.

I enjoy a pretty abundant lifestyle, but what compensation would that be if I had to sacrifice my courage to keep it? Life without courage is nothingness. It’s an empty void. If you can’t “bet the farm” on a new direction that calls to you, you aren’t free, and you certainly aren’t living consciously. Better to go broke and have some incredible learning experiences than to lower your consciousness and trap yourself in a gilded cage. Money should always be your slave, never your master.

If your life isn’t filled with what you love, who chose that? Who’s choosing it right now? Who’s free to say no at any time? Who’s responsible for fixing it? If you can’t say no to what you don’t want, then how are you supposed to experience what you do want? If you want to travel the right path for you, then isn’t it reasonable to stop taking steps along the wrong path first?

If you’re experiencing what you don’t want, then stop choosing to experience it. Quit. Leave. Stop. Enjoy the sense of relief that comes from releasing what you don’t want. This is much better than dying a slow death on a path you don’t even want to pursue.

If you don’t want it, let it go. Say goodbye to the old with love, so you can say hello to the new with love.

If you take this simple advice and follow it for a period of years, you’ll soon find that your life is filled with what you love instead of what you tolerate. But eventually you’ll be guided in yet another direction, and it will be time for another round of releasing. This process never ends because it’s necessary for us to grow. We can’t grow if we keep repeating the same experiences over and over. We must continue to engage new energies that bring us fresh growth experiences.

Self-Discipline

What Is Self-Discipline?

Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state.

Imagine what you could accomplish if you could simply get yourself to follow through on your best intentions no matter what. Picture yourself saying to your body, “You’re overweight. Lose 20 pounds.” Without self-discipline that intention won’t become manifest. But with sufficient self-discipline, it’s a done deal. The pinnacle of self-discipline is when you reach the point that when you make a conscious decision, it’s virtually guaranteed you’ll follow through on it.

Self-discipline is one of many personal development tools available to you. Of course it is not a panacea. 

Nevertheless, the problems which self-discipline can solve are important, and while there are other ways to solve these problems, self-discipline absolutely shreds them. Self-discipline can empower you to overcome any addiction or lose any amount of weight. It can wipe out procrastination, disorder, and ignorance. Within the domain of problems it can solve, self-discipline is simply unmatched. Moreover, it becomes a powerful teammate when combined with other tools like passion, goal-setting, and planning.

Building Self-Discipline

My philosophy of how to build self-discipline is best explained by an analogy. Self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you train it, the stronger you become. The less you train it, the weaker you become.

Just as everyone has different muscular strength, we all possess different levels of self-discipline. Everyone has some — if you can hold your breath a few seconds, you have some self-discipline. But not everyone has developed their discipline to the same degree.

Just as it takes muscle to build muscle, it takes self-discipline to build self-discipline.

The way to build self-discipline is analogous to using progressive weight training to build muscle. This means lifting weights that are close to your limit. Note that when you weight train, you lift weights that are within your ability to lift. You push your muscles until they fail, and then you rest.

Similarly, the basic method to build self-discipline is to tackle challenges that you can successfully accomplish but which are near your limit. This doesn’t mean trying something and failing at it every day, nor does it mean staying within your comfort zone. You will gain no strength trying to lift a weight that you cannot budge, nor will you gain strength lifting weights that are too light for you. You must start with weights/challenges that are within your current ability to lift but which are near your limit.

Progressive training means that once you succeed, you increase the challenge. If you keep working out with the same weights, you won’t get any stronger. Similarly, if you fail to challenge yourself in life, you won’t gain any more self-discipline.

Just as most people have very weak muscles compared to how strong they could become with training, most people are very weak in their level of self-discipline.

It’s a mistake to try to push yourself too hard when trying to build self-discipline. If you try to transform your entire life overnight by setting dozens of new goals for yourself and expecting yourself to follow through consistently starting the very next day, you’re almost certain to fail. This is like a person going to the gym for the first time ever and packing 300 pounds on the bench press. You will only look silly.

If you can only lift 10 lbs, you can only lift 10 lbs. There’s no shame in starting where you are. I recall when I began working with a personal trainer several years ago, on my first attempt at doing a barbell shoulder press, I could only lift a 7-lb bar with no weight on it. My shoulders were very weak because I’d never trained them. But within a few months I was up to 60 lbs.

Similarly, if you’re very undisciplined right now, you can still use what little discipline you have to build more. The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets. Challenges that were once impossible for you will eventually seem like child’s play. As you get stronger, the same weights will seem lighter and lighter.

Don’t compare yourself to other people. It won’t help. You’ll only find what you expect to find. If you think you’re weak, everyone else will seem stronger. If you think you’re strong, everyone else will seem weaker. There’s no point in doing this. Simply look at where you are now, and aim to get better as you go forward.

Let’s consider an example.

Suppose you want to develop the ability to do 8 solid hours of work each day, since you know it will make a real difference in your career. I was listening to an audio program this morning that quoted a study saying the average office worker spends 37% of their time in idle socializing, not to mention other vices that chew up more than 50% of work time with unproductive non-work. So there’s plenty of room for improvement.

Perhaps you try to work a solid 8-hour day without succumbing to distractions, and you can only do it once. The next day you fail utterly. That’s OK. You did one rep of 8 hours. Two is too much for you. So cut back a bit. What duration would allow you to successfully do 5 reps (i.e. a whole week)? Could you work with concentration for one hour a day, five days in a row? If you can’t do that, cut back to 30 minutes or whatever you can do. If you succeed (or if you feel that would be too easy), then increase the challenge (i.e. the resistance).

Once you’ve mastered a week at one level, take it up a notch the next week. And continue with this progressive training until you’ve reached your goal.

While analogies like this are never perfect, I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of this one. By raising the bar just a little each week, you stay within your capabilities and grow stronger over time. But when doing weight training, the actual work you do doesn’t mean anything. There’s no intrinsic benefit in lifting a weight up and down — the benefit comes from the muscle growth. However, when building self-discipline, you also get the benefit of the work you’ve done along the way, so that’s even better. It’s great when your training produces something of value AND makes you stronger.

Throughout this week we’ll dive more deeply into the five pillars of self-discipline. If you have any questions on the subject of self-discipline (either specific or general) that you’d like to see addressed, feel free to post them as comments, and I do my best to incorporate them along the way.

My Heart And Soul

I find myself listening to the voice of my heart more faithfully than ever before and grateful to know, as perhaps you already do, how to harmonize heart and mind to inspire soul growth and wholeness in the physical body. My quest began with confusion about a love relationship and resolving it led me, as it so often does, beyond my indecisive intellect to the quiet centering of my mind and the still, small voice that illumined my dilemma, soothed the sorrow, and gave the guidance I needed to decide what to do and not do. Synchronicity brought powerful relationship-healing tools just in the nick of time.

It was almost funny how it all started, with the sudden appearance of the legal document whose absence was the cause of the trouble. I felt upset, but didn’t consciously know why, so I spent the next morning tuning in to soul and discovered that I’d ignored the spoken needs of my heart for 12 years and, perceiving no resolution, had allowed my mind to dictate the relationship. It didn’t do a very good job: it nay- ‘Sayed my heart’s needs, dealt with this disharmony through covert and overt anger and resentment, and when I wondered what was going on, created distractions in a busy effort to hide the truth from me.

Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve experienced this, too. In an effort to hear my heart, I listened to my soul and some beautiful concepts flowed into my meditative writings. Perhaps they’ll make just as much sense to you.

In the hierarchy of creation, my inner voice explained, soul manifests its love as the heart and its individuality as the thinking mind. These are given a body so that individuality, or personality, may know itself more fully. Each is an outgrowth of soul, seen as Light shining through a multi- colored lens and diffracting soul into heart and mind.

Soul’s nature is Love and so is the heart’s. The heart, powered by the Light of love, beats with the energetic life force of the divine and, in terms of electrical impulse, gives life to the body. It is a “transformer” between the two, transmitting a vibrational frequency of either a higher or lower nature depending on the thoughts and feelings held in mind. Negative emotions can affect the human heart’s higher frequencies, but emotions do not reside in the heart; emotion’s memories, beliefs and attitudes are held in the mind and energetically imprinted upon the body

Something for your to read...

Something for your to read...

Someone who is sensitive to your need before you even say it.

Someone who knows when to laugh and when to cry.

Someone who truly listens when you have something to say.

Someone that's there for you during the good and bad times.

Someone who is caring.

Someone who loves you with all their heart and soul.

Someone who is interested in reality and not as a fashion display. 

Someone who is honest.

Someone you can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend but

most of all, love as the great lover they are.

Someone who is open and responsive.

Someone who is never critical and ill-tempered in respect to your needs.

Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.

Someone who understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is

even more important.

Someone who's there for you no matter what.

Someone who is trustful.

Someone who is a friend.

Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.

Someone with a great sense of humor.

Someone who has things in common with you.

Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are and tries

not to make you something else.

Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and

Love people for who the really are.

Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument

and love you for everything that you are.

Someone that can get a point across without yelling.

Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff you love.

Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself, but admire

greatly in them.

Someone who realizes you're two separate people, and appreciates the differences.

Someone who can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.

Someone who understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.

Someone who can make you happy when your sad.

Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it. Someone

who will not hurt you intentionally.

Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.

Someone that you can laugh with.

Someone who you can feel comfortable with and that you don't care what kind of weird

stuff they see you do because you know they will still love you no matter what.

Someone who will love you in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.

Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.

Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, and a great lover!

Someone who allows you to be yourself around them.

Someone who will respect you.

Someone who cherishes your hopes and is kind to your dreams.

Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as though you are.

Someone who listens with their heart and is your source of inspiration.

The Uselessness of wealth without woman

Mans greatest motivating force is his desire to please is woman! The hunter who excelled during prehistoric days, before the dawn of civilization, did so because of his desire to appear great in the eyes of woman. Mans nature has not changed in this respect. The hunter of today bring home no skins of wild animals. But he indicates his desire for her favor by supplying fine clothes, automobiles and wealth. Man has the same desire to please woman that he had before the dawn of civilization. The only thing that has changed is his method of pleasing. Men who accumulate large fortunes and attain to great heights of power and fame, do so mainly, to satisfy their desire to please woman. Take woman out of their lives. And great wealth would be useless to most men. It is this inherent desire of man to please woman which gives woman the power to make or break a man.

The woman who understands mans nature and tactfully cater to it need have no fear of competition from other woman. Men may be giants with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the woman of their choices.

Most men will not admit that they are easily influenced by the woman they prefer, because it is in the nature of the male to want to be recognized as the stronger of the species. Moreover, the intelligent woman recognizes this manly trait and very wisely makes no issue of it.

Some men know that they are being influenced by the woman of their choice their wives, sweethearts, mothers or sister but they tactfully refrain from rebelling against the influence because they are intelligent enough to know that no man is happy or complete without the modifying influence of the right woman

Then man who does not recognize this important truth deprives himself of the power which has done more to help men achieve success that all other forces combined.

The Meaning Of Life

One day I met a wise old man
Who was sitting in the park
And there upon the bench with him
We talked 'till early dark

He told me of his travels
To a far off distant land
Where the secret meaning of our lives
Was taught to him first hand

I listened to his story
Amazed by what he said
The simple truth of which he spoke
Was knowledge not widespread

In great detail he did explain
What life was all about
And how the answer we do seek
We don't have to be without

There was something in his message
That I could not reject
A wisdom that I understood
So simple and direct

My life forever has been changed
By the words I heard that day
A concept old as life itself
And by far the one true way

An answer to the question why
And the reason we exist
Solutions I would not now know
If my walk that day was missed